Fine? [ There's the tiniest pause before he scrubs the plate harder. ] If I had done fine--
[ You know what, he doesn't want to be having this conversation. But yes. He's actually holding himself responsible for what happened just as much as Hange is, because clearly, they had failed that kid somewhere on the way. ]
...Forget it.
[ As usual, his expression isn't saying much... but Hange can probably figure out what's on his mind anyway. ]
[ It lightens slightly at the memory, but then his frown darkens, because while that moment might be happy, it ties in to some of the worst moments of his life. ]
Yeah. You were loud and annoying and I wanted to sleep.
[ Like he would have actually slept anyway-- ]
[ And Furlan and Isabel were still alive. They looked up to him too, at least Isabel did. Furlan had enough of a head on his shoulders to call out Levi's shit instead. But they both trusted him, and he'd let them down too. ]
[ He just lets down everyone, doesn't he? He'd thought for a moment that maybe that wasn't the case, when he finally found out the real reason Kenny had left, but then shit just kept happening. The amount of things he'd managed to do right is hilariously miniscule, isn't it?.. ]
oops emotional trauma time
[ You know what, he doesn't want to be having this conversation. But yes. He's actually holding himself responsible for what happened just as much as Hange is, because clearly, they had failed that kid somewhere on the way. ]
...Forget it.
[ As usual, his expression isn't saying much... but Hange can probably figure out what's on his mind anyway. ]
[ It lightens slightly at the memory, but then his frown darkens, because while that moment might be happy, it ties in to some of the worst moments of his life. ]
Yeah. You were loud and annoying and I wanted to sleep.
[ Like he would have actually slept anyway-- ]
[ And Furlan and Isabel were still alive. They looked up to him too, at least Isabel did. Furlan had enough of a head on his shoulders to call out Levi's shit instead. But they both trusted him, and he'd let them down too. ]
[ He just lets down everyone, doesn't he? He'd thought for a moment that maybe that wasn't the case, when he finally found out the real reason Kenny had left, but then shit just kept happening. The amount of things he'd managed to do right is hilariously miniscule, isn't it?.. ]