[Levi returns to take a seat on the sofa and Hange turns slightly to face him better. At the first response they do not say anything in return, for what is there to say? Levi was humanity's strongest, it goes without saying that he excelled at slaughtering Titans. It is what the scouts needed from him.
That changed over time, when their concept of the entire world changed, when the Survey Corps was decimated right down to two superior officers and the teens who survived Shiganshina alongside them. They began to accrue more members over the months and years, some from the fresh waves of recruits but mostly transfers from the Garrison regiment when there wasn't much of a need to protect the walls any longer, but that brought about with it a whole other host of struggles.
Keeping an island safe from apparently the world while trying to rebuild the survey corps from the ground up was too much for two people let a lone one, but they did the best they could. Levi never complained about all the work that Hange dumped at his feet because of it, and nor did they really expect him too because he loved the scouts just as much as Hange did, loves the scouts just as much as Hange does, but now they are beginning to wonder.. did he also silently acknowledge it because of guilt?]
It wasn't your fault, Levi. It wasn't as though it was an on-the-spot decision, I had known for a while that if anything happened to Erwin, he expected me to take over.
[It feels almost surreal, saying his name after so long. It's not as though they frequently reminisced, the pain still too raw and the situation of the world much too dire to spend time talking about the glory days.]
Rising in rank showed how long you survived, right? It was always the Scout's way, receiving a new position thanks to the deaths of many of our fellow soldiers. When we accepted those roles we were also responsible for carrying on the wills of our comrades through our actions..
[If Hange thought about it hard they would remember a similar conversation from many years ago and telling Nanaba more or less the same thing, that their promotions were built upon the shadows of their friends.]
At the time I said Erwin was the better choice, but knowing what we do know and everything that happened with Eren, could we be certain that it would have been?
[Erwin's experience and leadership would have proved invaluable when it came to rebuilding their ranks. Maybe he could have prevented things from getting so far. Maybe he seriously could have led peace talks with the outside.]
[Or maybe not having Armin there would send Eren off the deep end far sooner. And if things did once again reach the point of no return, could they have stopped the Rumbling at all? There are simply far too many unknowns.]
Debating the outcome now won't bring us any relief. He would have accepted it if that's how it had turned out, but it would have been selfish of us to bring him back into that hell, right?
[Sending so many troops to their inevitable deaths, destroying not only them but all of their families back within the walls, how could you live with that guilt? Hange had killed their fair share of scouts once the Yaegerists took over, but it was not a victorious defeat of enemy forces, there was nothing to be found there but guilt and shame. Erwin may have found the answers that he had always longed for, but would he have even been happy with the results? Knowing there is a whole world out there waiting to turn its weapons against you?]
that was a multi-hit attack gd 1/2
That changed over time, when their concept of the entire world changed, when the Survey Corps was decimated right down to two superior officers and the teens who survived Shiganshina alongside them. They began to accrue more members over the months and years, some from the fresh waves of recruits but mostly transfers from the Garrison regiment when there wasn't much of a need to protect the walls any longer, but that brought about with it a whole other host of struggles.
Keeping an island safe from apparently the world while trying to rebuild the survey corps from the ground up was too much for two people let a lone one, but they did the best they could. Levi never complained about all the work that Hange dumped at his feet because of it, and nor did they really expect him too because he loved the scouts just as much as Hange did, loves the scouts just as much as Hange does, but now they are beginning to wonder.. did he also silently acknowledge it because of guilt?]
It wasn't your fault, Levi. It wasn't as though it was an on-the-spot decision, I had known for a while that if anything happened to Erwin, he expected me to take over.
[It feels almost surreal, saying his name after so long. It's not as though they frequently reminisced, the pain still too raw and the situation of the world much too dire to spend time talking about the glory days.]
Rising in rank showed how long you survived, right? It was always the Scout's way, receiving a new position thanks to the deaths of many of our fellow soldiers. When we accepted those roles we were also responsible for carrying on the wills of our comrades through our actions..
[If Hange thought about it hard they would remember a similar conversation from many years ago and telling Nanaba more or less the same thing, that their promotions were built upon the shadows of their friends.]
At the time I said Erwin was the better choice, but knowing what we do know and everything that happened with Eren, could we be certain that it would have been?
[Erwin's experience and leadership would have proved invaluable when it came to rebuilding their ranks. Maybe he could have prevented things from getting so far. Maybe he seriously could have led peace talks with the outside.]
[Or maybe not having Armin there would send Eren off the deep end far sooner. And if things did once again reach the point of no return, could they have stopped the Rumbling at all? There are simply far too many unknowns.]
Debating the outcome now won't bring us any relief. He would have accepted it if that's how it had turned out, but it would have been selfish of us to bring him back into that hell, right?
[Sending so many troops to their inevitable deaths, destroying not only them but all of their families back within the walls, how could you live with that guilt? Hange had killed their fair share of scouts once the Yaegerists took over, but it was not a victorious defeat of enemy forces, there was nothing to be found there but guilt and shame. Erwin may have found the answers that he had always longed for, but would he have even been happy with the results? Knowing there is a whole world out there waiting to turn its weapons against you?]